Getting out of your head

“These are two sort of different topics that I think are actually related, and the related thread between them is being completely present to the moment. If you can actually manage to be present to the moment, you're going to have extremely clear focus and also self-amusement is going to happen. Naturally for you. What would it be like if you are essentially meditating while you were in set well essentially what, if you meditated on the girl? What have you basically focused on the moment of the girl and then any distracting thought you just dismissed it that way? Instead of spending 25 % of your time focused on the girl, 25 % focused on what's coming.

Next 25 % focused on how you look 25 % focused on the rest of your life and the bills and what you have to do at work and all that you would be spending a hundred percent of your focus on the girl and in theory. That, basically, would make you four times the guy for that girl right you're, giving her four times the attention per unit of time. That makes you theoretically four times as charismatic four times as cool four times as engaging, and I think that's where it really comes down to is: there's a difference between quantity of time, quantity of focus and quality of focus.

One great example of how I learn: this is actually article blogging right as I look into a camera and I try and make everything else fade away around me like right now there are people around me. There's a crowd. There been people that have come up to me come around me while I'm shooting this article and in order to make it a good, cohesive article, I have to actually just focus on the camera. Make everything else go away block it out for myself and not get distracted, and that can be very, very compelling in fact, back in the day that used to be how we would deal with a mug game right.

The way we would deal with, like other guys in the set was we just focus in on the girl so intensely that whatever they were saying didn't seem to matter is just this bubble of us and the girl and everything else was excluded from it and by Having that exclusion, we became very compelling to the girl, and it was at just a very, very alpha quality that we could do that and in a sense you could say I mean that works for a Mogan, but that also works for all of game in general.

If you can be truly present and focused on the girl to the point where there's this bubble, which is you and the girl and everything else, just fades away for her, then you're going to be an extremely compelling, engaging experience for her and that's what's really going To captivate her interest, okay, it's that compelling engaging experience. It's not like the quantity of time you put in are the quantity of total focus on her during the interaction its.

How intensely focused like laser focused. You are it's not like it's like imagine this. If someone shined a light flashlight on you for an extended period of time, you probably wouldn't even notice it, but if someone's trying to laser in your eye, even for like just a second, you definitely will notice. It it'd be annoying because you know laser in your eyes ignoring, but it's something that you have to notice.

It's something you can't help but experience it's the same way as a human being. If you have a hundred percent of your focus on one thing, you're very compelling and you have to get noticed, whereas if you're focused a little bit on the girl a little bit on what you have to do, it work a little bit on. How do I look a little bit on how do I sound a little bit on what am I going to do later in this night? How am I going to take this somewhere, how she reacting to me now, all of a sudden your spoke, your focus is split into multiple different parts, and none of those parts alone is very compelling.

So that's how you're going to be truly charismatic and truly interesting with the girl is by summoning up that sort of focus, and one thing that helped me with this was was meditation, because that's essentially what you do when you're meditating is anytime, there's a distraction. You push it aside, get back to your focus and you learn to harness your arnis, your mind, discipline, your brain, so that you can maintain that particular level of focus one model.

I have that I kind of came up with recently that I think sort of highlights this and illustrates this, and it also is a good model for game in general. Is there's this idea that I have so say you were to take an interaction. I made right diagram this for you on paper as well, but for now I'll do it with my hands, basically you're going to start at a low emotional intensity because they don't know you and gradually.

If the interaction gets good, it's going to go to a higher and higher emotional intensity, and within that interaction, there's going to be fluctuations. It's not always the same, sometimes it'll be a little bit of a spike. Sometimes it'll be a little bit of a valley in terms of the energy, sometimes to be positive, sometimes it'll be negative, but there's sort of a normal range within that interaction that most people are used to that most people have had with their friends with other people.

Who've gotten to know – and anything you do within that range is not really going to affect them. It doesn't register as an event in their mind because it's not out of their normal subjective experience of reality, but if you do something, that's extreme, either extremely positive or extremely negative, now you're affecting them. Now you are going to register as an event, and that is why a lot of times you can have the like, really quick interaction that even like 30 seconds, even like a 10 second interaction, just grab a girl's phone number and she'll be really excited to talk To you and like it'll, be a great number and then you can have the other interaction.

That's like an hour-long conversation and then she flakes it's because the hour-long conversation you didn't take her enough out of her situation. Reality. You didn't really create yourself as an event. In her mind, whereas even in that 30 second interaction, if it was an extreme emotional, extreme enough emotional spike and she really registered with it and really attached yourself to that moment, then you can be very compelling and you can leave a lasting impression even over a Short period of time, so that intensity is what's really going to draw a girl into your reality.

In order to have that, you need to have your entire reality focused together now again the ideal way that I said to do that is similar to meditation, where, if distractions come in, you just block them out, but another way that you can do it. Another sort of shortcut to it that I discovered in Australia, I had a student who was having. He was really really in his head he's having a really really hard time like getting in to a conversation with a girl and having something to say and not just getting flustered and running out of running out of things to say.

So what I told him to do was when he went in just actually narrate whatever's going on in his head to the girl, and so what he had at first was he had a split focus. He had one foot one little bit of focus on. The girl is probably like 10 percent of his brain and they had 90 percent of his brain focused on all the like issues. He was having how he was nervous, how he didn't know what to say. Excuse me how he was like embarrassed that was socially awkward, how he was worried about people looking at him all that kind of stuff.

What I told him is literally whatever's in your head, just go, say it to the girl and that way you're bringing that 90 %. That's in your head into that 10 % and you're having a 100 percent interaction, and so he wouldn't did that and the things he was saying to the girl were like patently lame. They were like terrible terrible game on paper, but once he started doing it once he was actually coming for that genuine place and his focus on all those things included the girl.

So now the girl was into his 100 % focus. He started to become charismatic. He started to get good response. He started to get a positive reaction and positive. Try to start to get phone numbers started to get girls like actually talking to him, and then he got in a better mood and started narrating that better mood started, narrating, even better mood and his day just kind of cycled upwards. Anything had a really really amazing day and ended up like just really killing it towards the night and having great interactions having girls like you know, left and right all over him.

So what did you do, though? It wasn't that what he did was technically good game, but what it was was a hundred percent focused 100 % in the moment, and that made him compelling enough that they wanted to be a part of it. They wanted at least find out about it and then, obviously, if what you're compelling the girl towards is positive and pleasant for her, that's going to make it even better okay, but creating this sort of bubble of love.

This bubble of you and the girl and the rest of the world fades away is an amazing amazing model for game. In fact, back in the days of NLP, there was sort of like NLP patterns that would focus on that they'd be like yeah, and, as you hear this voice, you can feel like everything else. Besides this voice just fades away, and the more you hear this voice, the more you want to hear it, and you can feel yourself like going deep inside and thinking that it's just you and this person and the more you know them the more you want to Know them and the more you want to know them the more you can hear this voice and it's just creating that that idea of that that bubble of love and so that kind of stuff it's been around for a really long time, but it's actually quite powerful.

It's quite compelling, so I want to focus. I want to encourage you to have that level of focus in your game, and I want you to realize how powerful that can be now. This also plays into the concept of self-amusement, because you have to think about with self-amusement and with like saying random things on the spur of the moment. It's inherently not going to be as good as technical game as it could be if you were scripting it if you're saying the perfect thing, but the fact of the matter is, if you're saying the perfect thing, if you're trying to say that one perfect thing you're Already splitting your focus into several different categories, just it's focusing a little bit on the girl a little bit on what you're going to say a little bit on what you're trying to achieve about what you're saying a little bit on whether she's responding positively to what You're saying, and so now, all of a sudden you're, like 25 % of a person or 33 % of a person and you're not nearly as compelling, even though what you were saying might actually be a better game.

So the secret to that self-amusement is to just be in that moment. Even if that moment is in your head but be projected fully you, the girl in that moment all into one cohesive unit and then just spit whatever comes out from that, whether it's positive or negative, don't judge it just put it out there, you can always adjust It later, if you have to – and that's what's going to make you compelling that's why self-amusement is actually inherently compelling, because, when you're speaking stuff itself amusingly when you're speaking from the heart, the soul, you are a full and complete human being in the interaction not like.

The 25 % human being that people are used to interacting with because most of your interact interactions are with people who are in their head. Most of your interactions are with people who are focused on other things and so you're, literally having 25 % of an interaction, and that's why it's not charismatic and not compelling for you now. Why is this effective? Well, here's my theory. Basically, when we evolved, we evolved as lower animals first and then mammals and then humans, and so what affects our brain? The most is: what affects that lower low, lower level brain which is going to be the subconscious of the interaction? How focused is someone how into them their own interaction or they are they bored by what they're saying or are they entertained by what they're saying and if they are actually entertained by what they're saying we feel like? We should be entertained boy they're saying regardless of the content again, the content is secondary because that's the mammalian brain human brain and it doesn't affect us on the deep emotional level and that's why being self amused? Even if you say something, dumb, self-amused is almost always better than being formulaic, even if you say something great formulaic and I've noticed this recently.

I started doing infield article, and I noticed that in my sets when I was thinking about how am I looking on camera? Are we getting this shot? Does she see the microphone any of those sorts of things? What I would fall into was good technical game where I was saying the right things, but the set just wouldn't kick off and then, when I just forgot, I was wearing the camera and just like had fun, then my sets were amazing and I was focused in The moment and a lot of stuff I said, was dumb, but their reactions were a hundred percent amazing to it and that's what I want you to create in your game.

That sort of thing where you get the mind right and everything else follows, and you can't help but be charismatic. You can't help but be help but get the girl and that's what I've noticed. Going back to the original concept with meditation is when I'm meditating. It's not like, I do anything differently in game, in fact, a lot of times. My game is worse on paper, but somehow I wake up at the end of the week when I've been meditating consistently, and I slept with a bunch of girls as opposed to when I haven't when I had a bunch of good interactions, and I got a bunch of numbers, but the soul really wasn't there right.

So I'm encouraging you focus on your focus if that makes sense and see if you can bring the girl into that subjective reality, one way or another, even if it's kind of a lame reality. Even if it's not perfect technical game make sure that you're 100 % focused on the girl you're, a hundred percent focused on the moment, not five minutes from now, not five minutes ago, and not on how you're being perceived.”